Reeling In The Years – 1957: Women Officially Upgraded To 2nd Class Citizens By Government

In a move that has shocked many people in this country John A. Costello and his government have officially upgraded the status of women in Ireland to 2nd class citizens.

The Taoiseach did not provide an explanation as to why the decision was made, but so-called women’s advocacy groups have praised the move.

Up until today’s decision women in Ireland have enjoyed much the same rights as farm animals. “It is welcome, but a most overdue righting of a grave wrong,” Miss Hilda Garrity, an advocate of equal rights, told Waterford Whispers News.

“Of course we’ve had the vote, but the idea that we could stand trial in much the same way a horse or a pig would, it’s mind boggling.”

Today’s news means that the men of Ireland will no longer be legally protected if they force their wives to sleep in a pig sty or chain them up with a collar outside the pub.

“We’re not asking for much, but this change from 3rd class citizen to 2nd is playing havoc with the societal norms,” pleaded a disappointed Jimmy Mullens, publican and lover of hating women. “I’ve read, please God willing it’s not true, that now it’s illegal for me to demand a woman ceases talking. This is just pure madness.”