Aontú Just Happy They’re Not In The News For The Usual Reasons

IRISH POLITICAL party Aontú has expressed its relief at discovering the reason they have hit the headlines is not related to concerns of racism and antisemitism within the party, WWN can report.

“For a second I thought we were in the headlines for members of our youth wing reveling in racist and antisemitic abuse in WhatsApp groups again,” shared a member of Aontú, relieved to learn the party was in the headlines as one of its councillor was accused of making advances on a vulnerable woman.

“Thank God for that,” they added as they read an account from a woman, a constituent of councillor Jim Codd, as she detailed meeting the councillor to discuss her housing application only for Codd to drive the woman to a secluded rural area and make advances on her that were rejected with Codd remarking ‘I can’t believe I can’t seduce you in beautiful Carrig-on-Bannow’.

The alleged incident was investigated by the council which said it could not substantiate the claims and the DPP has decided not to prosecute, which is less of a relief to party sources than the fact the controversy they’re mired in isn’t racism or antisemitism related.

“You see Aontú pop up in a headline, and your heart skips a beat ‘cus you just automatically think ‘ah no, another member getting caught saying disgusting things about black and Jewish people’, but it’s grand it’s just this,” remarked one source, who couldn’t provide more comments as they had to help leader Peadar Tobin to act like a male comedian dressed as an Irish mammy character while promoting Dublin Zoo was the greatest travesty since the Famine or even worse, when women got the vote.

“Promoting a special Mother’s Day zoo offer, without featuring an actual woman, a mother, it’s erasure, it silences female voices,” confirmed the party who has fully backed councillor Codd in the wake of allegations made against him by a female constituent.