RFK Jr Demands To Taste America’s Breast Milk

US SECRETARY of Health Robert F. Kennedy Jr has unveiled his latest programme for making America healthy again, this time taking aim at a group who are famously anti-childrens’ health, new mothers.

Announcing that it is the solemn duty of the person who holds of the office of US Secretary of Health to ensure, beyond doubt, that American children are getting the best of breast milk, Kennedy has said there is no other option but to personally sample the goods produced by breast feeding mothers.

“It will be an exhausting undertaking but one I am willingly sacrificing myself for. How else can anyone ensure the nutritional health of America’s babies? My mouth is the best peer-reviewed science this country has,” explained Kennedy while getting lost in thought and licking his lips.

In the biggest quality assurance operation ever undertaken Kennedy has said he will go door to door, visiting new mothers to ensure their breast milk is of the sufficient quality.

“Obviously if any of this milk is autistic milk, it is my patriotic duty to remain on the teat until I have taken it all, at which point I will spit it down the sink, my open mouth is awaiting their harvest,” added Kennedy.

“To show how serious I am about this subject, I’m going to talk creepily for another hour about milk and breasts,” concluded Kennedy.

UPDATE: Kennedy was rushed to hospital in the aftermath of his first house visit at where he became suddenly faint, saying he ‘smelled tylenol in the air’.

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