Meet The Former Socialist Radicalised By Monopoly

“EVERYTHING equitable and fair, it’s how I was raised. That property could form a part of an asset class is anathema to everything I stand for. That was until my sister landed on a brown square I owned,” recovering socialist Caoimhe Mallin says, outlining how she went from an avowed anti-capitalist to avaricious landlord loving speculator.

“That property, even in the most unfancied and rundown part of the board game, could provide me with a steady stream of passive income. It was probably like snorting your first line of coke, the rush I felt when my sister started crying, I’ve been chasing that ever since,” expanded Mallin.

Fast forward to today and Mallin owns two apartments and has a share in three others.

“And thankfully that joy has transferred into the reality of owning property, anytime I get an irate or teary call from a tenant about raising the rent, I pinch myself,” Mallin explained.

“It was just so perverse, my sister complaining. Complaining that it was unfair she had to pay me. She landed up where she landed. She only had herself to blame and me to graciously thank for having the bright idea to own and operate houses in Kimmage”.

Mallin truly believes her passion was ignited by that fateful Christmas afternoon as a child when her left-wing parents foolishly dusted off the old board game.

“Yeah it was definitely Monopoly that did the radicalising, or if not that it was the substantial inheritance I received when my Nana died which allowed me, on advice from a helpful solicitor, to buy an apartment which has an annual rent yield of €32000,” concluded Mallin.

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