‘Liveline’ Has A Millennial Presenter, Here’s What To Expect From Callers

WITH KIERAN CUDDIHY officially announced as the new Liveline host, Irish phone-ins enter a brave new world of millennial-aged hosts and callers into Ireland’s premier moanathon.

Just what does this mean for the show? Here’s what to expect:

Getting callers in the first place will be a major problem as millennials don’t do phone calls and with Cuddihy himself being a millennial there’s a big risk he’ll just refuse to answer the phone, pointing out he doesn’t answer phone numbers he doesn’t recognise.

“Sorry I have to whisper, I’m still living at home in my parent’s house” – will be a regular refrain from callers in the 29 to 44 age range.

“In my day we had Bebo and we were happy, TikTok scares me” – Liveline will be a literal life-line to the aging callers confused by the changing world around them.

In a particularly harrowing yet moving segment, one millennial finally breaks and admits that yes, the reason they can’t afford a house is because they spend too much money on Netflix and avocados.

“Can you fucking believe oat fucking latte are €5 fucking euro Kieran? Shocking. Not pay for it and take my business elsewhere, what? Are ye mad!” – Liveline will lose none of its trademark rigorous debates.

“No one talks about the effect the crash had” – will be the most uttered phrase.

“This They/Them business is all the rage now, we didn’t have that in my day. Ah Nadia winning Big Brother and There’s Something About Miriam was different, we didn’t have it in my day and that’s a fact” – cutting edge topics will remain part and parcel of the show.

“In my day my mam wouldn’t let me stay in all day she’d shout at me to go out and play Pokemon Go on my phone. I blame the parents” – universal topics that transcend the generational divide.

“It’s all different now, in my day the whole family would gather around their Motorola flip phone and watch the RTÉ Man Slips On Ice video on repeat, but families don’t do anything together these days. It’s terrible so it is Kieran” – one of 400 Aislings from Clontarf will say.

Rambling WhatsApp voice notes that go on for 5 minutes and bounce around different topics like a basketball on a trampoline will be the show’s most prominent feature.

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