New Evidence Reveals Hunter Gatherers Had No Idea What To Fucking Eat Either

DESPITE hundreds of thousands of years of so-called evolution, new evidence has found Homo sapiens are still no closer to knowing what to fucking eat than they were in the hunter gatherer age.

“They say look to our past to try and understand ourselves, but that is a load of horse shite,” lead scientist Gerard Mackey told WWN, after wasting 15 years trying to figure out what humans should actually be eating.

“Animals know more than we do about nutrition,” Mackey continued. “Look at us. Half a million years later and we are still arguing over what the best diet is. I give up.”

The professor initially studied the diets of the first humans to walk the earth, but quickly realised they were no use either.

“They died in their 30s,” Mackey explained. “They ate organic red meat, fish, fruit, berries, all the supposed good stuff, and look how far it got them.”

Asked whether he had any final advice on what people should eat, Mackey replied simply:

“Whatever you want. I am off to McDonald’s.”