Met Éireann Fined 200 Days Of Bad Weather For Issuing Too Many Sunny Days This Year

THE EU WEATHER regulator has sanctioned Met Éireann for issuing an excessive amount of sunny days this year, exceeding regulatory limits, on the rain sodden patch of earth known as Ireland and has issued one of the harshest fines in its history.

“What is this? All sunshine in the August? In Ireland? This cannot be, your babies are born with gills, your houses like glass bottom boats,” queried head of weather procurement at the EU, Jean Allard, as he carried out a routine inspection of weather issued in each European nation.

As part of joining up to the EU in the 1973 Ireland sold off the rights to its weather, netting billions in revenue for selling a number of sunny spells to tourist traps in southern Europe, however, Met Éireann erroneously handed out a completely dry May, virtual dry June and stunning August to Irish weather enjoyers.

As punishment for losing the run of themselves and providing Ireland with several months of near constant soaring temperatures of 12 degrees, Met Éireann must now make up the balance going forward.

“They’re going to fecking kill us,” confirmed one Met Éireann weather forecaster to colleagues, before beginning the first of 147 consecutive ‘lashing out’ forecasts.

“We’ve had to switch on dozen more 5G towers just to alter the weather back to ‘pure misery’, we were only trying to lift people’s moods, I think the regulation is no longer fit for purpose,” defended one senior Met Éireann figure as they tearfully turned up the ‘Biblical rain’ and ‘say goodbye to your umbrella winds’ dials.

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