“I’m Not Shallow” Brave Local Man Still Sticking By Ageing Wife

DESPITE his wife being a mother in her mid-fifties after ‘pushing out four children’, local man Jim Peterson has confirmed he is sticking by his marriage vows to wife Ciara, regardless of how much she has ‘changed over the years’.

“She was a slip of a thing when I met her first,” Peterson said, proudly displaying a faded photo of a striking young woman on a beach, taken in the late 1980s. “All the men were after her back in the day; she was the hottest young one in the town.”

Now 63, Peterson explained that you ‘have to work hard’ at keeping a relationship going this long, “especially with a post-menopausal woman who stopped caring about her looks ten years ago.”

Peterson pointed out that some of his divorced friends had ‘shacked up with gorgeous, sexy little South-East Asian birds’ but insisted he was not that shallow.

“Sure, she might not have that smooth, tanned skin anymore, or those firm buttocks that looked like two eggs in a hanky in yoga pants; but deep down, underneath all that caked-on makeup and unkempt hair, she’s still my little Ciara. And I wouldn’t swap her for a younger model for love nor money.”

Speaking hypothetically – unprompted, and without explanation – Peterson added that, if it ever ‘came down to it’, he’d probably go for a blonde woman in her early 30s.

“Definitely Eastern European; blonde, blue eyes, great legs. Breasts not too big, not too small either, perfect. And not too much English, so they can’t argue back,” he concluded.

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