Slave Labourer Trapped In Saudi Arabia Sympathises With Alexander Isak

A SLAVE LABOURER trapped in Saudi Arabia’s kafala system and at the mercy of a cruel employer who thinks nothing of his human rights has shared his sympathies with a player at Saudi owned Newcastle United.

“You and me both bro,” mused labourer Aashiq Das in an over-heated tent he shared with four other men, as he read of Alexander Isak’s plight through the footballer’s Instagram story last night.

“Did they take your passport too and force you to work until you collapsed from heat exhaustion? These Saudis man!”

“Working excessive hours, the withholding of wages, the beatings, we are both mistreated by an unequal system lorded over by the Saudi Arabian crown prince,” said Das to himself only, because if he said it on social media he could be executed like journalist Turki al-Jasser.

Meanwhile, Newcastle have confirmed that Alexander Isak is not for sale and are exploring expanding their fine system to include summary execution for players who remain on strike.

UPDATE: An increasingly desperate Alexander Isak was last leaving the Liverpool club shop in full kit and then trying to hop the fence at Liverpool’s training ground in Kirby.

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