Cork Sealed Off Inside Dome After Asian Hornet Found In County

BRAVE ACTION taken in a swift manner by the National Parks & Wildfire Service has seen Cork sealed off from the outside world after the county reported the presence of an invasive Asian hornet which threatens the native bee population.

A hermetically sealed biodome with an area of 7,457 kilometres has been dropped on Cork, containing the potential catastrophic spread of hornets but at a huge humanitarian cost to the residents of the Rebel county.

“We had contingency plans for how to deal with mass unrest and violence at having been cut off from everyone else, the army was ready to act, but turns out people from Cork love it,” explained one NPWS worker.

“We’ve actually had to use the army to prevent people from trying to get into the dome, some pervy dyslexics got the wrong end of the stick and thought the place was covered in horny Asians,” added the worker.

Terrifying scenes are unfolding, as witnessed by WWN, as one man armed with a flamethrower laid waste to every piece of Cork he could reach.

“Wha? Hornets? Sorry pal, I don’t know what you’re on about, I just hate Cork,” confirmed the flamethrower wielding Dubliner.

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