Is It Time For The Drug ‘On Tick’ System To Migrate To Klarna?

EVENTUALLY every industry, no matter how antiquated, has to adapt to modern business practices whether in a sudden, wholesale way or bit by bit.

One such industry now on the cusp of embracing change is Ireland’s drug dealing trade, where the long practised ‘on tick’ credit system could be replaced by customer payment solution platform Klarna which would allow drug purchasers to pay for their high over several manageable payments while taking payment issues away from overworked dealers.

“Most of my time is taken up by chasing cunts for payment, I’m not a charity, I provide a service in return for payment so with Klarna, all the headache of getting paid is taken care of,” explained lcoal drug dealer Finn Fannell (32).

“We’ve had to adapt again and again to changing trends, so this is just another example, my grandson is helping me with the tech side of this stuff,” explained veteran drug dealer, Tony Morten (21).

A somewhat unheralded aspect of Klarna could result in dealers’ overall mental health improving.

“Dishing out beatings for late payments takes its toll on you, y’know? I shouldn’t have to be taking golf clubs to lads shins, I just want paying like any other service provider,” added Morten.

While dealers will have to get used to paying Klarna an administration fee, the majority WWN spoke with are more than willing to pay if it means an end to the onerous tick system. Consumers have also welcomed the move.

“Klarna don’t threaten to burn my house down if I don’t pay, right? Right? Okay, yeah cool, sounds good,” shared one coke fiend.

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