Irish Government To Offer ICE Location Of Rosie O’Donnell In Exchange For A Reduction In Tariffs

SOURCES CLOSE TO the Minister for Finance have revealed to WWN that the Irish government would be willing to give US immigration officials the live location of comedian Rosie O’Donnell if it would result in a reduction in planned Trump tariffs on the EU.

“Trump loves ‘a deal’ and Minister Donohoe is a big fan of not having 30% tariff slapped on Irish exports, so what harm – one person being giving a free trip to El Salvador? Why just revoke someone’s citizenship when there’s other options on the table,” reasoned a government source.

“Miss O’Donnell seems to speak her mind and believes in fairness and equality which are all deeply held Irish beliefs too until it might effect our pockets and then I’m sorry, but if we can ship you off and get something out of it, slán,” added the source.

Others have backed the handing over of O’Donnell to US immigration officials for reasons other than economic necessity.

“This lad is so desperate to shift the news on from the Epstein stuff, there’s a significant threat of Rosie O’Donnell been taken out in a nuclear strike on Dublin,” offered one concerned Irish resident.

Elsewhere, counter proposal are believed to be in the works whereby the Irish government could accept 130% tariffs if Trump agrees to take Conor McGregor off the nation’s hands.

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