Erin Patterson Asks Prison Warden To Put Her On Kitchen Duty

FRESH from her murder conviction in the trial that has gripped the world and been dubbed the ‘Mushroom Murders’, Erin Patterson is wasting no time trying to settle into prison life.

“Usually new inmates take a few days to find their voice, socialise and all that, but Erin has really taken to prison with a positive attitude,” explained prison warden Michael McLennan, who was impressed by Patterson’s willingness to role up her sleeves, dehydrate some mushrooms and muck in.

“First words out of her mouth were ‘can I be on kitchen duty?’,” added McLennan, who felt encouragement and reward was central to rehabilitation which is why he was happy to give Patterson her wish.

Somewhat explaining his decision, McLennan confirmed to WWN he doesn’t watch the nightly news, read newspapers, listen to true crime podcasts or have access to ‘what’s the charge? Cooking a succulent mushroom meal?’ memes on his phone.

“There’s inmates in here for years who don’t lift a finger, don’t try to turn their life around, so it’s great to see the smile on Erin’s face as she plates up food for everyone. Very particular about her own plate mind,” added McLennan.

Elsewhere, Netflix has apologised to its subscribers for failing to release dozens of exploitative documentaries and dramatized versions of the trial in a timely fashion.

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