Arsonist Nominates Fuel Supplier For Fire Safety Award

THE MOST INFAMOUS living arsonist of modern times has informed his most trusted supplier of matches, fuel and other accelerants that he has nominated him for a leading fire safety award, WWN can confirm.

“That is incredibly magnanimous of you, it is true I am the most committed person to fire safety that I know. And as proof of that, I want to once again state my commitment to giving you, a notorious arsonist, the means to set anything you want on fire,” confirmed the touched fuel supplier upon being told of his nomination.

The arsonist then spoke at great length, heaping great praise on his supplier of combustible liquids, solids and gas which go on to be used in his arson sprees, specifically singling out the fuel supplier’s record on being against arson in all forms.

People with an interest in advocating for year round fire safety and a ban on arsonists being supplied with the means to start fires have criticised the news of the nomination, with many stating ‘is this some kind of sick joke?’

“I don’t understand, how can an arsonist have the ability to nominate someone for fire safety awards in the first place?” queried one confused person, unsure how the nomination process works.

“It makes total sense that my boss, who has supported this prolific arsonist in his burning endeavours should be nominated for a prize most closely associated with people who are diametrically opposed to the starting of fires,” offered the vice president of fuel supply to arsonists.

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