Irish Government Celebrates Island Hitting 7 Million Population For 1st Time In 170 Years By Delaying Infrastructure, Cancelling Build Of Homes

WITH THE Central Statistic Office census data confirming the island of Ireland’s population has hit 7 million people for the first time in 170 years, the government has reacted quickly to mark the milestone.

“Sure there wasn’t a train in sight in 1855 and everyone managed, what’s the rush,” explained Minister for Transport Darragh O’Brien, as the MetroLink project remains in planning purgatory, the 10 year Bus Connects plan is yet to finish and plans for several Luas lines remain just plans.

“Some people keep shouting on about Make Ireland Great Again, they want us to go back to the past – and we’re trying our best; destitute families, landed gentry buying up more land, what more do you want from us?” offered a government spokesperson.

A recent halting of thousands of social housing units has been offered as an example of how the government is alive to the demands of a growing population.

“Seven million; that’s 26% increase in 20 years, that came out of nowhere, it’s not like we collect large-scale data sets every few years to map out the country in order to plan infrastructure accordingly. It’s not fair to blindside us like this,” confirmed the spokesperson.

Asked if the population milestone would prompt a more swift implementation of ambitious infrastructure plans the government confirmed a feasibility study on such actions should be completed late 2035.

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