Tickets For Diddy Comeback Tour Expected To Sell Out In Minutes

AS THE DEPRESSING reality of Sean ‘P Diddy’ Combs being found guilty of just two of five offences he was on trial for sinks in, many dismayed by the verdict have already turned their energy to steeling themselves for the disgraced abuser’s sold out comeback tour.

“Come on that’s not going to happen, people would never blindly support a rich and well-connected abuser,” said one person with a birth cert sighting their birthday as yesterday.

“Whether it’s as a support act for Chris Brown, be it for a series of concerts this year when he beats a jail sentence or for when he’s free 5 years from now, one thing is for sure, those concerts tickets are going to be sold,” offered another person with previous knowledge of the utter contempt some people hold female victims of abuse in.

Ticketmaster have confirmed they would not rule out being the official ticket partner of the inevitable tour until they assess the level of any potential public backlash, thus joining dozens of leading brands who are keen to see if this is a ‘welcome back, all is forgiven’ version of entertainment industry scandal.

“Some people can’t help but see that footage of Combs beating his ex-partner, alongside more testimony from others on how he harassed, beat and threatened them and conclude he’s the real victim,” explained behavioural psychologist with a special interest in sociopathic, idiotic lemmings.

“I’ll never give a disgusting criminal like that my hard earned money,” said one man who will perform a complete u-turn once disgusting criminal Donald Trump pardons Combs.