Meet The US Arms Inspector Who This Week Discovered Iran’s Nuclear Arms Program

AN AMERICAN nuclear weapons program expert has been praised for his excellent timing after discovering conclusive proof of Iran’s nuclear program that is so detailed and undeniable the Trump administration isn’t showing anyone, WWN can confirm.

“I know our National Intelligence Director Tulsi Gabbard said in March that there was zero evidence that Iran was actively pursuing any uranium enrichment but we can’t ignore what brave Scott found mere seconds after Israel said it had bombed Iran and required our unconditional support and protection,” a White House spokesperson said while awarding arms inspector Scott Cope a golden cane as a sign of their appreciation for his service.

Cope hit back at critics who suggested he wasn’t fit for the job.

“I’m not fit for the job because I’m blind? Bullshit, I’m not fit for the job because I’ll say anything to use as an excuse to overthrow a government you ableist assholes,” defended Cope.

“It was either pick Scott here to have a look around facilities or dig up the corpse of Colin Powell and get him to check for weapons, you guys are never happy” added the head of manufacturing consent at the Pentagon.

Others have speculated that given the fractured nature of American society in 2025, nothing can bring people across the divide together in patriotic unity quite like an illegal unjust war against brown people they can’t point to on a map.

Meanwhile, Benjamin Netanyahu has spoken out against sexists who say men can’t multi-task by pointing out he is currently gunning down starving people in Gaza, bombing civilians in Iran and killing innocent villagers in Syria.

UPDATE: Those reluctant to support US involvement in bombing Iran on false pretences have been reminded by the White House that regime changes always work out better for the downtrodden people, just ask Afghanistan.

UPDATE 2: Netanyahu has claimed the ancient copy of the Torah he just found which says Iran is also the ancient homeland of Israel is genuine.

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