“No It’s Not Due To Starving Gazans, We’re Reviewing Our Trade Deals With Israel Because Of Eurovision Vote Manipulation” Confirm EU Nations

AFTER MANY EU citizens rejoiced at the news some genuine diplomatic pressure was finally being applied on Israel for its war crimes, EU leaders sought to clarify a clear misunderstanding and overestimation of their consciences.

“We’ve shown we can happily sit on our hands and do nothing to pressure Israel to stop killing children, aid workers, journalists and bombing hospitals, schools and refugee camps for months and months but c’mon a red line is a red line, that Eurovision song was a bit ‘meh’, something fishy is going on with the voting and there will be ramifications,” confirmed the EU.

“And, actually, while we think of it what is Israel doing in a European song contest anyway?” added EU nation leaders, who have seemed less curious as to why Israel has been openly committing ethnic cleansing and intentionally brutalising the people of Gaza for the last 20 months.

EU leaders apologised sincerely to anyone who was given the false impression they were acting due to their morale outrage and their disgust at the IDF’s barbarity.

“No, surely it that was the case, it wouldn’t have taken us 20 months to merely suggest we talk about, maybe, possibly, threaten to review agreements with Israel before immediately dropping the threat if Israel were to let one small truck of aid into Gaza. We’re spineless,” concluded the leaders.

Those worried the Israeli government might have to answer in some way for their crimes, Germany, Italy and Hungary among other EU nations reassured people they’ll be sabotaging any attempt to implement any consequences.

Elsewhere, Ursula von Der Leyen said she quite liked Israel’s song actually, and that there’s nothing in the Eurovision rules saying she wasn’t allowed phone in 20,000 votes for Israel.