What To Do In The Event Of Your Favourite Celebrity Appearing On The Epstein Client List

WHILE every well-known Rumpel Creepskin whose name has appeared in connection with notorious pedophile Jeffrey Epstein fills you with fury and revulsion, the extensive and still under wraps lengthy list of potential clients of Jeffrey Epstein means any day now, one of your favourite entertainers or business bro could be implicated.

And what to do when it’s not Bill Clinton, Donald Trump, Bill Gates, Elon Musk but someone you consider a beloved hero? WWN is here with the regretful but essential advice:

“Always knew there was something dodgy about them” – sadly but necessarily you’re going to have to immediately go ‘nuclear’ and disavow all positive feelings and put as much distance between yourself and [insert beloved entertainment industry figure here].

“Ah no, I was never really a big fan.” – double down on the distancing and gaslight anyone familiar with how you enjoyed [insert beloved entertainment industry figure here]’s work.

Or take the easier option of carrying on like nothing happened and insist that all those people you don’t like are guilty as sin but your guy is being set up. It’s a tricky tightrope to walk but the human brain is a curious beast and can bury the truth down deep. That’s all the advice we have.

“Those bitches are probably lying, and come to think of it, where’s the evidence this Epstein guy actually ever did anything bad” – oh no, that’s a bit-

“Ruining all lives of all those good men like that. It’s almost never true, these accusations. All a money grab. In fact I’m going to see [insert beloved entertainment industry figure here]’s new movie TWICE. These bitches can’t win. Men are under attack” – we’ve never seen someone quintuple down, this is honestly a bit impressive.

“A good Christian man no less, family man, the agenda is clear. As part of their secret sex cult ring, they want to convince me this guy was part of a different secret sex cult ring to cover the tracks of their very real sex cult ring but I’m not going to fall for it. No way, no how” – you know what, you’ve convinced us, we’re intrigued now.

UPDATE: This method can also be used during the upcoming P Diddy trial.

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