Precancerous Mole On Local Man’s Neck Would Greatly Appreciate Some Suncream Right Now

A PRECANCEROUS mole living on the neck region of a local Waterford man has spoken out for the first time, stating that it would greatly appreciate some suncream and or even a collared shirt.

“Nineteen fucking degrees and it’s only April. Christ,” offered the mole as it was put in the direct eyeline of the sun as neck owner Chris Murray dismantled the old shed in his back garden.

“I wouldn’t want this to be taken as a direct attack on your masculinity, or puncture your hard man persona but it doesn’t have to be factor 50 even, the 30 will do,” yelped the the sizzling mole now from a suntrap of a beer garden.

The atypical nevi which has altered in size and shape in the last 18 months apologised for repeating the sorts of things Murray’s wife Fionnuala can often be heard nagging him about when the couple are on holidays.

“Sorry, you’ve had a long day and you there just trying to enjoy your pint but you’ll get a lot more pints in if you slapped a plaster over me and booked in with the doctor,” confirmed the mole, who was then dismissively rubbed and scratched by Murray.

What the collection of premalignant abnormal cells didn’t understand was that Murray is an expert in harmless Irish sunshine which doesn’t require any serious consideration when compared to the bastard of a sun you find on holiday in Spain and the like.

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