Ireland Records First Ever Non-Farmer Started Gorse Fire

A GORSE FIRE on the outskirts of the Waterford village of Halladearg has been labeled the first of its kind, as gardaí suspect it wasn’t a farmer who started it, WWN can reveal.

“Usually with a ‘controlled fire’ spread across vast swathes of land endangering houses and sending toxic fumes into the air since it’s a harmless farmer that can be left to it but now it might have been a nature-hating vandal, it’s all hands on deck to find this criminal who has a black hole where their heart should be,” explained a responding garda.

“Farmer-commenced gorse fires when out-of-season or out-of-control are listed as ‘suicidal self-immolating gorse’ by the State’s scrub pathologist, we don’t even have a word for when a non-farmer does something like this but we’ll catch the bastard who did it,” added the garda, speaking as several out of control gorse fires have raged across the island in recent weeks.

Gardaí have not ruled out the possibility that the fire started as a result of a BBQ or a teenager discovering what happens when you combine a spray deodorant and an open flame, or a gender reveal party gone wrong.

“Could it have been a teenager with a can of Lynx setting a pink/blue BBQ on fire? We can’t rule anything out,’ concluded the guard.

One local farmer has expressed his anger at the action of these vandals.

“They’re not even doing it for the EU grant money. To think a fire that gets out of control and requires the entire county’s fire and rescues services to stop wasn’t started for money; sends a chill down the spine,” explained farmer Tom Guinney.

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