North Sea Toxic Chemicals Explosion Turns Out To Be Elon Musk

FRESH INFORMATION related to an apparent collision between a vessel carrying toxic chemicals and an oil tanker has been made available to media outlets, and now requires a correction as to the facts.

“It’s an easy mistake to make, when you see noxious gas being admitted at a worrying volume, it’s normally one of two things; an oil tanker crashing into a ship carrying chemicals or Elon Musk opening his mouth, and this time it was noxious plumes of Musk” explained rescue crews who rushed to the scene of they initially thought was large flames and toxic fumes.

Crews had raced out at speed to the location of the alleged crash site only to find Musk rapidly tweeting ‘wow’ or ‘concerning’ above some of the most patently false tweets, filled with lies, misinformation and neo-nazi Great Replacement theories, to have ever been tweeted.

“Technically our hunch was right – toxic fumes. Raw effluent. Poison. A danger. But what Musk was doing there, or why is unknown. However, it definitely tallies with Musk’s habit of being exactly where you don’t want him to be or somewhere he can cause the maximum amount of damage,” said one rescue crew worker who presumed he was seconds away from being called a pedophile by the world’s richest man.

Initial reports suggested the Stena Immaculate tanker had collided with a cargo ship carrying chemicals in the North Sea off the coast of England, with experts warning of potentially devastating environmental damage.

“When in reality it was much worse than that, and undoubtedly infinitely more irritating,” corrected environmental experts.

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