Trump’s Cheque For New Tesla Bounces

ELON MUSK was too busy celebrating Donald Trump fighting his corner and incorrectly declaring that boycotting the purchasing of a Tesla is ‘illegal’ and that keying a Tesla will be considered ‘domestic terrorism’ to notice the cheque Trump used to buy one of his cars failed to clear, WWN can report.

“The old classic bob and weave, distract as you extract” confirmed Trump as he excitedly honked the horn on his new custom made Tesla ‘Cybercuck’ like a toddler.

Finally alerted to the fact that Trump has no funds in his account, Musk tried to gently broach the subject as the president turned the White House into a QVC segment for Teslas.

“Don’t worry about it Elon. What, are you trying to say you don’t trust a six times bankrupt businessman who, factual speaking, lost more money than any other individual in America between ’85 and ’94? Come on, you know I’m good for it,” explained Trump.

With Tesla losing billions in valuation and sales down worldwide, things have gone from bad to worse for Musk as his social media platform X is still recovering from a hack he claims originated in Ukraine.

“Sadly, I know how war works – since Ukraine attacked X I have no choice but to give over all rights to the company to them to bring an end to this and ensure peace. That’s how it works, right?” Musk noted.

Elsewhere, many Trump supporters were overjoyed by the scenes at the White House yesterday.

“Hey, it’s nice and all that you’re suspending the first amendment for your buddy Elon and everything but I voted for you because you said you’d bring down the price of food and gas on day one of taking office, where are you at with that?” offered one voter, tensing up as Trump mentioned something about if America plunged into a recession it wouldn’t necessarily be a bad thing.

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