Concerns Raised As Simon Harris Spotted Shopping On Temu For Nuclear Warheads

FEARS THAT Ireland’s days as a neutral nation are numbered have been raised yet again as Tánaiste Simon Harris has been spotted browsing cut price Chinese online retailer Temu, in search a nuclear warhead.

“Sure the delivery charges are desperate altogether but I still think it’s a good price,” mused Harris as he browsed the Temu sale pages.

Not content with railroading through Ireland’s ‘triple lock’ system when it comes to deploying troops abroad, Harris is already dreaming of an expanded arsenal of weaponry.

“Some great offers on this place,” said Harris hovering over the buy button on a set of tomahawk missiles that play the Benny Hill theme tune as they soar through the skies.

Despite arms suppliers forming an orderly queue in Harris’s Tiktok DMs, the Fine Gael leader is willing to shop around.

Members of the public who point out successive Irish governments’ problems with overspending on public projects have been told by Harris that there is no need for a cynical outlook.

“C’mon this is Children’s Hospital guy you’re talking about. I’ve to meet a gentleman about a fighter jet, but they won’t be taking me to the cleaners, I’ll kick the tyres, ask to see the log book. No flies on Simon,” insisted the Tánaiste.

UPDATE: Despite every poll indicating the Irish public is overwhelmingly in favour of retaining neutrality the Irish media has insisted on having another 50 debates on the issues until such time polling numbers change thus justifying a further 50 debates.

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