Media, Government, Child Born Yesterday All Shocked Sinn Féin Attending Former IRA Member’s Funeral

TODAY MARKS another funeral of a former IRA member which sees members of the Sinn Féin party in attendance.

This has come as a heart-attack inducing shock for government parties and TDs, and has prompted the media to green light several incredulous opinion columns.

Today’s funeral, for Brendan ‘Bik’ McFarlane who was released from prison under the Good Friday Agreement and was involved in the Bayardo Bar bombing, is shockingly not the first Republican funeral attended by Sinn Féin members.

“But how can this be? There is no precedent for such a thing happening,” the media, politicians and a child born yesterday have asked, all sadly deprived of access to newspaper archives which date as far back as ‘the last time this happened’ some months ago.

In a natural phenomenon which occurs in Ireland seasonally this initial puffing of chests in astonishment is followed by irate radio phone ins, declarations of false equivalences, valid criticisms and blind defence of actions and reactions.

“But he was identified as a suspect in the kidnapping of businessman Don Tidey and the murder of Private Patrick Kelly and Garda Gary Sheehan during his rescue,” it will be pointed out to Sinn Féin, who are well aware of the details, as is the case with all and any funerals they attend precisely because of such details.

“This Sinn Féin you speak of, will they also attend a further funeral when another IRA member with civilian deaths to their name dies in the near future? Surely not?” asked the newborn child.

“This will come as a shock to me, much in the same way I am shocked by my grandparents invisibility when they place their hands over their faces before yelling peekaboo,” added the newborn, in a statement which will be largely copied by sitting government TDs.