Trump Marks Third Anniversary Of Ukrainian Army Marching On Moscow In Unprovoked Act Of Aggression

A SOLEMN US president Donald Trump laid a wreath in honour of all the innocent Russian civilians killed in the wicked invasion perpetrated by Ukraine three years ago as it attempted an unprovoked annexation of Russia.

“Unprovoked like you’ve never seen before,” explained Trump to reporters as he said there was a special place in hell for dictators he makes up in his head such as Volodymyr Zelensky, and a nice place in heaven for actual dictators he personally fawns over including Vladimir Putin.

“Who invades likes that? Peace-loving politicians in Moscow were left with no choice,” added Trump.

Trump also confirmed Putin relayed his immense concern that any day now Moldova and Georgia could launch an unprovoked attack on Russia too, leaving the Russian leader no choice but to defend his people.

“It’s a beautiful country, they have these women in Russia when you open them up they have a smaller woman inside them, but did Ukraine care? No, Zelensky carried out something called a ‘three day special military operation’ but here we are three years later, which as you know, is more days than three”.

Trump also criticised Zelensky for attempting to extort the US by refusing to agree to giving his administration $500 billion in natural resources in exchange for nothing.

“And get this guy, he says he’s willing to resign his position and step aside if I come up with an actual peace deal that isn’t just me stealing the resources of his country and handing Russia land. See, that’s right out of the Dictator 101 playbook,” concluded Trump.

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