Sex Worker In Riyadh With Hint Of Russian Accent Probably Nothing To Worry About, Thinks Trump Official

TAKING A WELL earned break from carving up Ukraine for the benefit of his boss and his boss’s boss, one Trump administration official has dipped out of peace talks in Riyadh to catch up with a sex worker who organically began flirting with him in the lobby of his hotel this morning.

“No silly handsome man, I born in Saudi to Saudi family. Skin is pale because women kept inside all times, Saudi and Russian accent very different. I think, I never met Russian before,” insisted the sex worker as she undressed newly installed defence official Thomas J. Aldonsen in his hotel room and insisted he position himself close to a mirror that did not have a secret camera placed behind it.

“Wow sounds big important job you have, you must have many stress, tell all problems you have. For example, what is Ukraine officials doing that US think is hurting Russia,” continued the sex worker as she began giving the official a lap dance.

Despite feeling comfortable in voicing all his work concerns aloud for someone who seemed like such a great listener, Aldonsen couldn’t shake the feeling that the kind-faced sex worker had the sort of toned muscular body you only get from partaking in training for things like am elite FSB unit.

“No, you hearing things that not sound of zoom lens of camera that my mouth listen whir whir whir click click click,” confirmed the sex worker, a 100% Saudi born national and genuine citizen.

UPDATE: Aldonsen’s dismissed his lingering paranoia that there was some sinister ulterior motive to a young and beautiful woman falling in love with him when the woman, Aaliyah, insisted they stay in touch, especially if he maintains his current career trajectory and becomes Secretary of Defence one day.

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