IDF Sniper Trained On Survivors At Auschwitz Remembrance In Case They Attempt To Draw Parallels

TO AVOID the unedifying spectacle of one of the few remaining living survivors of the Holocaust making remarks that incorrectly draw parallels between the Holocaust and any current ongoing situation, the IDF have stationed a number of snipers at the 80th anniversary commemorations marking the liberation of Auschwitz.

“We could think of no greater insult to the survivors of the holocaust,” explained an IDF spokesperson, “than the potentially lurid spectacle of a survivor suggesting people must learn from the horror of the Holocaust while invoking the name of a contemporary flashpoint, not that one springs to mind”.

It has been suggested the prospect of such a commemoration, held to ensure the world never forgets and never lets something like this happen again, being sullied by someone imploring the world not to let something like this happen again is unthinkable and must be avoided.

“What they would be drawing parallels exactly? We cannot say. What specific modern nightmare could they possibly point to? We do not know, but nevertheless it would be unwise to suggest that in 2025 the mass murder and systemic and brutal treatment of people is wrong,” added the IDF spokesperson from a rooftop adjacent to Auschwitz.

Meanwhile, the sniper tasked with taking action if needed said that while they feel conflicted by the orders they have been given, killing someone in their 90s is a nice change of pace from shooting children in Gaza.