“Only We Can Stop The Carbon Tax Madness” Exclaim Regional Independents After Agreeing To Form Government With 5 Years Of Carbon Tax Increases

HAILING a ‘common sense’ government which has brought an end to the ‘madness’ of the last few years, the Regional Independent Group and the Healy Raes who will form part of the new government are already touting their anti-pro-climate change credentials despite the fact there will be five straight years of carbon tax increases.

“I told you I was a man for the little people, bringing an end to making you pay for this nonsense when China is burning coal and they’re importing wood chip from Brazil,” confirmed one rural TD, who didn’t secure a pledge to stop the import of wood chip form Brazil.

“Thank God those Green Party crackpots are gone,” added another independent TD who has signed up to five more years of implementing a key plank of Green Party policy.

The independents which include the Healy Rae brothers, convicted criminal Michael Lowry, Gillian Toole and Noel Grealish confirm their pledge to bring new ideas to tackle the housing crisis by partnering with the very two parties who believe absolutely nothing about housing policy needs to change.

“I wouldn’t have signed up to the government now if I didn’t get assurances my constituency would be looked after,” confirmed one TD, despite the fact FF/FG have said no such deals have been struck.

“See, this is why you should always vote for me, and my brother/sister or child whenever I pack it in”.

Asked if they feel those voting for them may feel betrayed, independents completely rejected the suggestion.

“Go away out of that, the public wanted for me in the knowledge that I’d follow through on my pledges to get myself a few extra allowances and perks,” the independents said in unison.

Elsewhere, Taoiseach-in-waiting Micheál Martin has suggested Simon Harris make Gaza his first visit as Minister for Foreign Affairs.

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