Christmas Miracle? Fine Gael & Fianna Fáil Put Aside Differences To Play Football In Leinster House Trenches

JUST AS PEOPLE feared the venomous quarreling between two diametrically opposed forces would spill over into violence once again, Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil have laid down their finger-pointing arms and played a festive game of football.

“Wow, ’tis the season of peace on earth and good will to all men, so it is,” said one shoe polisher outside Leinster House, who threw his flat cap skyward in exultation before jumping and clicking his heels.

The tear-jerking intrusion of man’s basic humanity, the likes of which has not seen since the first World War, into the maddening mire of murderous political negotiation had seemed virtually impossible in recent weeks such was the near constant agreement the two sides have been locked in.

“I’ve seen it all now, it wasn’t two days ago I heard some of them agreeing on absolutely everything, declining to even speak out loud due to their telepathic understanding of each other and now look at them, putting aside their zero differences to play a bit of ball, warms the heart. There’s a lesson in their for all of us” added another onlooker, filled with the Christmas spirit.

Elsewhere Sinn Féin declined to partake in the kickabout, preferring instead to establish their own football match in which Mary Lou McDonald was the only one allowed to score a goal.