Trump’s Hope Of Assembling Sex Offenders Dream Team In Jeopardy

DONALD TRUMP’S dream plan to hire a record number of administration officials that can’t be within 500 metres of a school has suffered a blow as Matt Gaetz has removed himself from considering for the role of Attorney General.

“It was Donald’s dream as a civilly liable sex offender to have a man accused of sex trafficking join him as AG alongside rape accused Pete Hegseth and baby-sitter groper RFK Jr in his administration, he even picked out a name for his super squad; Republicans Against Public Education,” said one glum Trump transition team member.

Gaetz withdrew from consideration for the AG position amid public focus on sex trafficking allegations against him involving a 17-year-old girl and the fact he looks like the love child of Butthead and a melted candle.

“Even Trump’s weaker picks like Linda McMahon is named in a lawsuit accusing her of failing to stop a WWE employee sexually abusing young boys. This was going to be the Avengers assemble moment for horrible people that are a grave threat to children everywhere and now it’s falling apart,” added a Trump aide.

“He already had Elon Musk, a man accused of demanding a happy ending massage from an employee, so the building blocks for the creepiest administration in living memory were in place. It’s a real shame,” added the aide.

Trump defended his picks by confirming when people voted for him motivated by how expensive living in America day-to-day has supposedly become they really meant ‘jam your cabinet full of sex offenders’.

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