Man Hoping To Get 4 Year’s Worth Of Conversations Out Of New Electric Car Purchase

A LOCAL DUBLIN man has expressed his immense relief following his purchase of an electric car as it ensures at least 4 years worth of small talk content.

“I’m not great at social occasions and small talk in work isn’t my forte but with this car it’s no more having to think of talking points I can just coast on this, thank Christ,” explained Anthony Ryan, who is already feeling the benefits.

“That dose of a neighbour across the way, awful nosy, but the electric car acted this a security wall, whatever he said I just named another feature of the car,” offered Ryan, who has said ‘it’s like a space ship in there with the big computer’ on over 200 separate times since purchasing the car a week ago.

It is believed as many as 4,000 electric car purchases in Ireland can be linked directly not to the environmental impact but the desire of the owner to have a small talk safety net to fall back on.

“And the beauty of it is I can be all ‘oh no actually it gets a lot distance for a single charge’ and if it turns out to be an unreliable shit heap I can give it the ‘never again, never buy an electric car take it from’, I’m not fussy I just need that easy conversation piece,” said Ryan, before reeling off a list of the nearest public charging stations.

We’ve been hacked by North Korea, made it into Trump’s campaign emails, threatened with legal action by Ireland’s richest man, angered Scientology and received 6,000 complaints from the God squad after a sketch of ours aired on RTÉ. Help us to keep pissing off all the right people – buy some of our MERCH HERE to help us continue to taking the piss in these trying times.