Read Gerry Adams’ Review Of ‘Say Nothing’
THE TV adaptation of Patrick Redden Keefe’s 2018 book ‘Say Nothing’ which deals with the IRA and the Disappeared is made by FX and will debut on Disney+ tomorrow.
In a change to our usual slate of reviewers, we asked Gerry Adams to appraise the series, here’s what he had to say:
Gerry Adams: “This show is wall to wall baseless claims, I had better woolly jumpers in the 70s, costume department is not up to scratch, oh there’s the lads Brendan, Dolours, Pat, Martin, Marian!”
It was at this point, mere minutes into our private screening that Sinn Féin’s one remaining press officer interjected.
Press Officer: “Gerry, you can’t be reviewing this, we’re in the middle of an election campaign.”
Gerry Adams: “Why, because young voters will be put off their local candidate because they might think I was in the IRA? You think they might believe IRA members Brendan Hughes and Dolours Price’s accounts on that front?”
Press Officer: “Ah no, most love singing Up The Ra in a semi-ironic fashion but sure, if there’s one thing that can stir the conscience and righteousness of young people it’s bingeable streaming content. Contested history is boring as fuck until it’s delivered in a digestible format of episodes left on a cliffhanger. Just look at that Making A Murderer, the Menendez Brother one. Christ, no one gave a shite about squids until Squid Games. But that’s just the Yanks watching and the worst they’ll do is make annoying Tiktoks about it, the Irish will love it if it reaches its ‘fuck-the-Brits’ quota”.
Gerry Adams: “So you don’t think Brendan Hughes and Dolours Price saying I ordered several murders, including that of mother-of-ten Jean McConville, will hurt some of the candidates election chances? And some people will think that might hold weight, what with Dolours being part of the three-person team who led McConville to her death?”
Press Officer: “You’ve done it now, we’re fucked”.
Gerry Adams: “What, I always have and always will deny any involvement whatsoever?”
Press Officer: “Again, Irish people won’t give a shite about that Gerry, media agenda blah blah blah but if there’s one thing they can’t fucking stand it’s spoilers for shows they’re planning on watching”.
The review was terminated and in its place Adams later provided this statement:
“All the bits that people think are cool and gas craic, I will neither confirm nor deny. In the case of things that may directly link me to the deaths of civilians I must, on the advice of my doctor, draw your attention to my chronic and debilitating selective amnesia. If you’re looking for something Irish to watch, Bad Sisters season 2 has started up”.