Irish Economy Breaks Out Into Uncontrollable Sweat

THE IRISH economy is causing local authorities to issue minor flood warnings as people struggle to stop the vast amount of sweating it is currently doing from pooling together and form a torrent of panic.

The ‘*Chuckles* I’m In Danger’ Simpsons meme in economic form, the Irish economy has tried to downplay its reaction to Donald Trump’s reelection.

“Nonsense, it’s fine; the top 7.7% earners pay 54% of total income tax, three companies pay 33% of total corporation tax and we’ve built near zero public infrastructure with decades of multinational cash, we’ll be fine,” said the Irish economy, leaning its arm against a wall after feeling dizzy all of a sudden.

“It’s normal to sweat like this, changing your work shirt 18 times before lunch isn’t weird at all,” continued the economy which faces competing with a potential lowering of corporation tax in America by Trump, seducing companies back Stateside.

In a rare show of strong and reassuring leadership Taoiseach Simon Harris confirmed via a TikTok that ‘vibes’ will get us through any change in US economic policy.

“Has anyone got an idea for an app? Not a shite one now, something worth trillions of euros. C’mon people get your fucking act together. It’s that or we find oil under Offaly, fuck it we’ll have to invade Venezuela for their oil,” said the Department of Only So Long This Finance Is Going To Last in an official statement.

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