40 Tonnes Of Vegan Chocolate Illegally Dumped By Irish Trick Or Treaters

LOCAL AUTHORITIES and their clean up crews have been left to deal with 40 tonnes of illegal dumping in the aftermath of Halloween trick or treating.

“I’ve eaten chalk with more taste to it, am I a fucking joke to you?” irate two-year-old toddler Jack Carney, dressed as The Joker, roared back at a Dublin 8 house share that was only giving out vegan chocolate which is the source and cause of the dumping.

The rise in joyless and tasteless ‘healthy’ and ‘ethical’ sweets being handed out has led to a rise in trick or treaters immediately throwing them on the ground creating a record accumulation of dumped vegan treats totaling 40 tonnes.

“This is like four Paddy’s Days had an orgy and gave birth to octuplets,” said one Dublin City Council worker, wading through 6 feet tall piles of discarded vegan chocolate. “Usually you can rely on rats to eat some of this stuff but even they’re not touching that shite”.

“Nevermind any out of control fires, redirect the fire engines here or else this will take months to clear,” added the worker desperately trying to clean up the aftermath.

In some instances homes doling out vegan treats were assaulted by groups of rabid 8-year-olds who demanded enough Skittles to rival the buzz experienced in a busy nightclub toilet at an office Xmas party.

“Some cunt tried to give me 85% dark chocolate, my taste buds can’t handle that muck,” offered another trick or treater as they threw a brick through a local vegan’s window.

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