Rescue Workers Called To Scene Of Implosion At Sinn Féin Offices

EMERGENCY services have been called to a Dublin building after reports that the organisation within the premises has completely imploded.

Appearing as the human embodiment of the ‘everything is fine’ meme, office manager Mary Lou McDonald insisted she be allowed remain on the crumbling premises to reset the ‘it’s been zero minutes since our last embarrassment’ sign.

“We arrived to find they were in this big cavernous hole they spontaneously started digging for no discernible reason and the people were trying to escape by digging further downwards, we offered them ladders but it was like they’d never used one before,” said one rescue worker.

Sturdy well-performing polls which had long held up the walls of Sinn Féin offices had in recent months become wobbly and in a misguided attempt to re-stabilise them some staff began hacking at them with axes.

“It’s a strange one because major structural flaws such as ‘dismissing claims of sexual assault victims’, ‘kangaroo courts’ and ‘bullying staff’ had been in place over decades but now all of a sudden it’s led to the place crumbling around them,” added another rescue worker surveying the self-inflicted damage.

“Thankfully the only casualty is Sinn Féin’s reputation among people who were considering voting for the party”.

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