“The Auld One In The Bath In ‘The Shining'”: Darragh O’Brien’s Guide To The Only Things Scarier Than Sinn Féin’s Housing Plans

‘NIGHTMARISH’, ‘terrifying’, ‘pant-shittingly spooky’, just some of the things politicians who have had a direct hand in creating and exacerbating the current housing crisis have said about Sinn Féin’s new housing plans.

However, we’ve got the main man himself, Minister for How The Fuck Are People Expected To Afford These Rents, Darragh O’Brien to compile a list of the only things that eclipse Sinn Féin’s housing ideas in the blood-curdling horror stakes.

Take it away Darragh:

The horrible naked old lady behind the curtain in the shower in ‘The Shining’. As much as I have nightmares about a couple earning under €100k affording a decent house in Dublin, the bath lady scarred me for life.

An unhinged voicemail from Twink. Or a McGregor sister voice note.

Justin Barrett’s internet search history.

Another five years of FF/FG says you, wha? Haha, gas!

The ‘chest burster scene’ in Alien, or as I call the little alien fella, Simon Harris.

Daniel O’Donnell’s stage rider. The rumours can’t be true, can they? There’s no way that much cocaine can fit in one green room? And what’s he going to do with ‘just the brown M&Ms’ and a medieval torture device?

You know in The Sopranos when Tony would get all angry and you’d just hear his heavy breathing through his nostrils. Uh, shudders, gets me every time. Mary Lou does the exact same thing in the Dáil when I announce yet another subsidy or tax break for developers.

Getting caught buying a round in the pub before you had a chance to sneak off home.

That one video where there’s a lad making a snowball or something and it look likes he’s going to throw it off into the distance but suddenly he turns around mad quick and throws it directly down the camera lens. Good jaysus, fright on my life.

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