Nation Has Crazy Idea That Maybe It’s About Time We Remove Church’s Role In Education

WITH 308-church run schools named in an inquiry revealing over 2,400 children were sexually abused by 884 alleged abusers, the Irish nation has an idea so obvious, sensible and ethical it will be ignored by politicians in power.

“Remove the Church from its role in the Irish education system. An organisation, which served as a haven for rapists, is maybe not the ideal candidate to educate our children,” said the nation of the near 90% of primary schools still under the auspices of religious orders.

“If only they had other buildings, big airy ones with high ceilings, where people who are religious could take themselves and their families to, y’know to engage with their faith. Put rows of seats in them like, people could go in their spare time, like on a Sunday for example. And I know people’s time is precious so they could limit the religious time and that to an hour tops,” said one expert in the separation of Church and State.

Harrowing testimony from survivors detailing instances of being molested, stripped naked, raped and drugged will now lead to the establishment of an investigation, prompting Irish people with a functioning memory begging the government not to make this the 400th consecutive botched investigation into church abuses which further traumatises victims rather than delivering real justice and closure.

Elsewhere, those individuals who have protested outside accommodation for asylum seekers and libraries screaming about ‘protecting children’ remain oddly silent on this recent news.