“Simo Ain’t Playing”: How Harris Is Getting ‘Tough’ On Social Media Giants
IT’S BEEN A long time coming, but if Taoiseach Simon Harris’s recent proclamations are anything to go by, the era of social media giants having it all their own way with hate speech and disinformation is over.
“Simo, people call me Simo,” said Harris leaning against a wall with not a single care for what the exposed brick could do his Levis jacket.
The presence of the casual denim jacket over his work shirt made it abundantly clear, this was a whole different Taoiseach when it comes to regulating social media giants and the lack of online safety and enforcement. Simo was for real.
“Simo ain’t playing! Of course, Big Tech companies can still have an agnostic attitude to paying correct tax, they can still have planning granted for a Data centre that will be directly build on top of your granny, but on this particular matter I’m not completely toothless, I don’t just bark these nashers bite,” Harris explained as he coughed after taking a hit of his vape which appeared to have a skull and crossbones on it.
“I wanted to cut the sleeves off the jacket, y’know, to really show I’m badass and it’s a whole vibe but then Mam pointed out I wouldn’t be able to return in the shops it if anything went wrong with it,” added Harris.
Tough talk that he can back up, Harris was envisioning a new era of big fines and punishments for tech firms that were completely different to the big fines and punishments regularly doled out to Facebook et al that the companies then refuse to pay and use the court system to spend years fighting.
Adjusting the pocket on his jacket to ensure his Baby’s First Swiss Army knife protruded visibly, ‘Simo’ was unequivocal making big time executives liable.
“No, I haven’t spoken to Elon but I’m saying if he was to say anything to my face, directly, I’d spark him, lights out. No, you’re alright I don’t want his number, I’m just saying if he happened to be here right now, he’d be in serious bother,” added Harris, who them attempted to spit on the ground but instead inadvertently marked his shirt with a dribble of spittle.
Harris went on to deny his new no-nonsense approach to tech firms was actually in response to one of his recent TikTok videos only receiving 17 views.