Fact Check: Transgender, Transgender, Transgender. Transgender? Transgender!

YOU MAY have seen recent tabloid media reports that transgender, transgender, transgender, transgender, transgender, TRANSGENDER!, and of course transgender.

Respected online media outlet and world renowned geneticist Elon Musk has suggested transgender people are in the walls of your home right now. Under your bed. In that frozen meal in the freezer that’s been there for about a year that you forgot about. Hibernating until you are asleep at which point it is alleged they will transgender their transgenderism everywhere.

The limitations of this online fact check means we are unable to take a sledgehammer to the walls of your house to check for the wall-dwelling transgender people. You will have to do this yourself.

NOTE: WWN does not cover the repair costs taking a sledgehammer to your house would entail.

Fact Check Conclusion: Transgender?!?!?!!!

UPDATE: An earlier version of this story cast aspersions on the gender of transcontinental railways. We will apologise for this error a week from now on page 84 of our print edition in writing only visible by using the Hubble telescope.

Check back tomorrow for our report on the incredible overnight interest in women’s boxing from people who had previously never given it a second thought. An interest which is definitely permanent in nature and will lead to increased attendances, funding and support.

In our opinion section: “I was alright with the Nederlands having a convicted child rapist competing in the volleyball, but having an Algerian woman who doesn’t conform to my accepted standard for feminine beauty is where I draw the line.”