“We’re Actually A Lot Gayer” Greek Gods BLAST Offensive Opening Ceremony

FINALLY breaking their silence on a controversial Olympic opening ceremony last Friday, a lawyer for the federation of Greek Gods published an official statement today slamming the depiction as ‘tame’ and ‘not true to his client’s characters’.

In the joint statement representing the Sun god Apollo, Bacchus, Neptune, Diana, Venus and various other Gods too furious to mention, the Gods said they were very unhappy with how they were portrayed calling it ‘super safe’, claiming there was a lot more debauchery at the feast of the Gods at Mount Olympus that time.

“First of all, none of us were wearing any clothes,” the statement began, “everyone was just riding each other and having a good time drinking wine and eating grapes, but this attempted depiction made the feast look lame and zero craic whatsoever.

“Thank Gods we’re not as boring and sad looking as they made us out to be last week – the Last Supper would have been more fun if we’re honest, seriously, Jesus loved a good session and this is insulting to every God out there”.

Christian groups had earlier slammed the depiction, incorrectly assuming the performance was a blasphemous attempt to depict the Last Supper.

“Wow, that’s so out of character for those in positions of power in the Christian faith to be ignorant and uninformed while calling for things they don’t like to be banned,” observed one lapsed Catholic.

Meanwhile, the Greek Gods have warned organisers of the 2028 games in LA that they better be depicted as having the time of their lives in a bisexual orgy with an octupus with penises for tentacles or face their wrath.

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