Cyclist Wearing Aerodynamic Helmet Thinks He’s A Fucking Pro Or Something

A COUNTY Waterford cyclist who was spotted travelling on the Tramore to Waterford road wearing an aerodynamic helmet thinks he’s a fucking pro or something, concluded absolutely everyone who witnessed the man in transit.

Cycling with his head down on the handlebars in a bid to “limit the drag”, trainee accountant Stephen Power managed to shave a staggering 4.3 seconds off his commute to work, much to the amazement of anyone willing to care.

“It used to take me 32 minutes and 12 seconds to get in,” a rather chuffed Mr. Power told some guy he doesn’t know at the printer this morning, “now it takes 32 minutes and 7.7 seconds, so I’m probably a little early now that I think about it.

“I don’t know what to do with myself with all this free time,” he said, adding, “it was well worth the €499”.

The son-of-two has already gained notoriety among his cycling peers who also travel the same route to work every morning, gaining the nickname ‘Flash Prick’ for his regular overtaking.

“He’s some fucking dose,” explained one man who takes 4 minutes longer than power to cycle the same distance on his mountain bike, “he’s not even going that fast and takes an awkward amount of time trying to overtake other cyclists – it’s like he’s really trying to race everyone else on the road.

“Cop on to yourself boy! No one fucking cares about your stupid helmet,” he advised.

Despite his elaborate spending on cycling gear, Mr. Power is not expected to race professionally anytime soon, due to a “dodgy knee that ruined his career”.