All Ireland Draw Sees Whoever’s Left Face Dublin In The Final


THE new draw format which saves everyone the hassle of pretending Dublin might not lose sees the reigning All Ireland Football champions given a bye into the final, paving the way for whoever’s left to face them in Croke Park in Spetember 2018.

The glitzy draw carried out live from the International Space Station by Marty Morrissey sees Mayo drawn against Galway in one of many matches which will be rendered absolutely meaningless by the time we see Stephen Cluxton lift Sam Maguire yet again.

However, pundits have confirmed ‘it’ll be nice all the same’ for Leitrim to get out to New York for their Connacht Championship quarter final tie.

The extended break for Dublin, who won’t play their first All-Ireland match until the final itself, allows the panel of players the required time off to record endless ads and promotional material with their sponsors.

“We’re taking nothing for granted,” confirmed Dublin manager Jim Gavin, “even with the final spot booked, we’ll have to work overtime to make it look like we’re the victims of a media witch hunt”.

The new format has been met with excitement within the sports media, and promises to help struggling non-Dublin counties.

“We’re really excited about next year’s All Ireland, and knowing Dublin are already in the final just helps other counties mentally prepare for failure that bit more, ya know?” confirmed head of RTÉ Sport Ryle Nugent.