Let’s Give Voting For Old Rich People A Go, Says Britain

WITH the UK General elections now just a week away, several thousand British people have already made up their mind on who to vote for, opting to give the elderly, incredibly rich white people a shot and see how they get on for a change.

Despite losing a lot of ground to Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour party in recent weeks due to poor performances in televised debates and a manifesto that seems to benefit only themselves, current Prime Minister Theresa May’s Conservative party still hold a firm lead among an electorate who believe that her benefit-cutting, fox-hunting, billions-on-warmongering policies are right in line with their own.

With Corbyn looking nothing like the self-serving, public schoolboy, career politicians who led the country into rack and ruin over the last decade, many Britons have agreed that he is the wrong man for the job, and have pledged their vote instead to the self-serving, public schoolboy, career politicians who led the country into rack and ruin over the last decade.

“See that Theresa May? She just understands what life is like for us struggling families,” said one man, who depends on one of the UK’s 2,000 food banks to help provide for his family.

“As for privatising the NHS, well, if they tell me it’s for the best, who am I to argue? They all seem to be healthy, rich and well-heeled… so of course they know what a family on the poverty line in England are going through. They’ve got my vote”.

Thousands more UK voters agreed that May’s policies on Brexit are almost certainly the best for Great Britain, probably, as ‘like, why would they not be?’