House Buyer Will Pretty Much Sign Anything At This Stage


“I COULD be signing away my first born child for all I know,” admitted one first-time home buyer we spoke to yesterday, following a report which stated that when it comes to getting the keys of a new house, most buyers will sign any piece of paper that’s put in front of them in a bid to finally end the torturous process.

Whether buying for the first time or trading up, nearly 100% of home buyers are so eager to get the ordeal over with that when the time arrives to finally start signing legal documents they barely take the time to read what it is they’re about to sign.

From initial mortgage approval, to finding an affordable house in the right location, to winning the bidding process and finally getting everything signed off by solicitors and financial institutions, it can take up to nine years to complete the sale of a house.

Similar to how torture victims will eventually just confess to whatever their gaolers want them to, house buyers will eventually break down and agree to pretty much anything if they see light at the end of the tunnel.

“Terms? Conditions? Yeah yeah, whatever, just show me where I sign,” said one desperate wannabe-homeowner.

“I don’t care if I could get a better deal if I shop around, I don’t care if the interest rate means that I’ll be paying this off ’til I’m 90… just please, for the love of Christ, for the love of all that’s good and Holy, please just give me the keys to this 3-bedroom dormer bungalow”.