Waterford Man Will Wait For ‘Auto-tuned Version’ Of Anglo Tapes Before Passing Judgement



COUNTY WATERFORD man Mark Ryan has urged his peers to wait for the internet’s  ‘auto-tuned’ version of the Anglo Irish bank telephone recordings from 2008, before passing judgement on the men in question.

The 28-year-old shop-assistant made the statement at lunch-time today in the canteen following the publication of the phone-calls in the media earlier, which reveal senior manager John Bowe laughing and joking as he tells another senior manager, Peter Fitzgerald, how Anglo was luring the State into giving it billions of euro.

“It’s early days boi.” he told colleagues eating their lunch. “The tapes are in their raw state at the moment and have no backing track on them as of yet.”

Ryan, who reads the Sun News paper twice a day, said that people should not ‘jump to conclusions’.

“Once I hear the dialogue auto-tuned with the song ‘money’ by Pink Floyd, then I will make my case,” he said. “But until then, I will not be making any statement on the matter.”

The audio recordings are from the bank’s own internal telephone system and date from the heart of the financial crisis that brought the State to its knees in September 2008.

Experts believe that once the tapes have been edited and auto-tuned, it will really hit home with the general Irish public.

“The tapes need to be chopped down to under 30 seconds, auto-tuned, and then edited with pictures of cats before we get a reaction from the ordinary Joe soap on the street.” said political annalist, Gerard Hughs.

“Unfortunately, at the moment, nobodies got time fo’ dat!” he joked in a black american accent.