People Who Masterminded Children’s Hospital Build & Spend To Tackle HSE’s Overspending Next

GROWING INCREASINGLY fed up with consistent overspending, the crack team behind the incomplete and over budget National Children’s Hospital have confirmed they have wrestled responsibility for day-to-day spending in certain sections of the HSE away from ‘ineffective management’ into their safe and capable hands.

“We just want to remove the uncertainty, many within the HSE and members of the general public could never be sure if the HSE’s budget would be overspent or blown through, but now that myself, Jennifer and Simon are in charge of things, you can guarantee it will be over spent,” Minister for Public Expenditure Jack Chambers said earlier today.

The re-centralisation of HSE spending, away from executive regional structures, represents a chance for the government to keep a close eye on spending and have greater autonomy on the budget, sometime many in the cabinet feel is overdue.

“Look, if anyone knows anything about spending vast sums of money, well over an agreed upon budget, I’m the Usain Bolt of this stuff, I think it’s time we stopped leaving it to the amateurs at regional level,” confirmed Tánaiste Simon Harris.

“We wanted decisions made at a local level, where management had greater knowledge of local needs but now we feel overspending needs to be centralised, where we can better make excuses for it when it happens,” added Chambers, bulk purchasing single-use cardboard patient charts and inkless pens.

With overspending within the HSE at €577 million for the first 6 months of the year, the government could retain oversight on spending for some time to come.

“That’s madness really, from an overspending perspective, that money should be going on fuel handouts to farming contractors and truck drivers,” explained Chambers.