Lad Entering Local With Pool Cue Case Like He’s Antonio Fucking Banderas

CUSTOMERS in Ryan’s Bar were caught off guard last night as the pub’s weekly pool competition attracted what appeared to be the main character from a Quentin Tarantino film, brandishing a brand new pool cue case.

Entering with all the confidence of a slow-motion action sequence, local lad Tommy Durney drew immediate looks from regulars, sparking wild speculation as to what exactly was contained within the gun-shaped carry case.

“Here’s Antonio fucking Banderas now,” remarked bar hugger and long-time regular Johnny Hayes, as the suddenly self-conscious 23-year-old realised his flashy cue holder may become the highlight of an otherwise uneventful Thursday night.

“Safety off, lads, he’s about to open her,” another smartarse from the corner announced, sending Hayes’ adrenal gland into fight-or-flight mode, a mode not ideal for the calm mastery of rural Waterford pool.

Already regretting not leaving the shiny birthday gift at home, Durney snapped open the case with theatrical precision before delicately assembling his cue to the audible hum of sarcasm from the bar.

“Turn off the telly, Mick, we’ve a Steve Davis exhibition going on here,” someone shouted, just as the break shot launched the white ball clean off the table and onto the stone pub floor to rapturous applause.

“You’re some shower of pricks,” the would-be action hero muttered, drawing even louder cheers. “Ya can’t have nothin’ in this fuckin’ place.”

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