“Two Starters, Mains, Desserts & A Bottle Of Wine, Guess How Much?” Says Dad After Returning From Holidays

A LOCAL WATERFORD father has expressed an irrepressible desire to share news of the price ‘including VAT, tip, the works!’ of a recent meal he enjoyed while on holidays, a price he believes brings eternal shame on the island of Ireland.

“David! David! David!” father-of-three adult children John Duffan barked, shouting down his son who was mid-conversation with his wife, brother and assorted relatives at a family gathering.

Insisting his son guess the price of the meal like he was on an awful game show repeated on Virgin Media TV 189 times a week rather than just telling him, Duffan hounded his son.

“Guess, go on, now remember it was myself AND your mother so starter between us even if your mother ate the lion’s share of the garlic bread, you know what she’s like, two mains as well, two desserts, bottle of wine, guess, go on, guess, guess for fuck sake,” Duffan said bursting with excitement at the fact he was about blow everyone’s minds.

“Forty. Three. Euro.” confirmed the 69-year-old, before going on to list all the things you wouldn’t get in Ireland for the same price and what said items would actually cost in Ireland.

Happy he had imparted information about the most treasured memory of his holiday and possibly his entire life, an elated price-conscious Duffan went back to zoning out of conversations and not paying any real interest in anything his family, who he hadn’t seen in weeks, were saying.

“Hah! No guesses for how much that’d cost where we’ve just been, huh? About a tenth of the cost is what!” Duffan interjected later, when his son mentioned the cost of rehabilitation for his wife who was gravely injured in a car accident.

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