“We’re So Cooked” Says Man Who Never Thought He’d Be A ‘We’re So Cooked’ Sort Of Guy

SHAME can stab you like a thousand hot knives between your ribs, such is the pain it cancels cause and that pain has visited local man Steve Costello (33) this morning in the greater Waterford area of Waterford, Ireland, Europe, Earth.

“I made a promise to myself once that no matter how bad things got in life I’d never find myself sounding like a YouTube comment section but I’ve failed,” explains Costello, who blurted out the phrase ‘we’re so cooked’, after month of mocking the prevalence of the phrase online and in younger people’s vocabulary.

“I was stuck in traffic and I saw some council workers clear a drain of leaves and debris but they had shovelled it over their shoulder where it just blocked another drain and then bam! Without warning I said, I said ‘we’re so cooked’ in all seriousness, I didn’t recognise the man staring back at me in the rear view mirror,” a concerned Costello expressed.

Costello is one of many people who as they age scoff at the younger generation’s vocal quirks, but help is at hand in the form of a new helpline.

“Preach bro, no cap I was the same lol, and it’s legit freeing to just say soz to yourself, forgiveness is a flex, yeet your shame,” one dedicated helpline worker said when counselling a recent caller who tried to cut their own vocal chords out after unironically uttering ‘rizz’ for the first time.

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